The United States has more prisoners than any other country in the world. Many of them are harmless stoners who got caught with pot or other drugs. We imprison these people for long periods of time, which costs you and me a lot of money. How much? Nobody seems to know. That's the funny part. Like everything controlled by the governments, estimates vary all the way from $8000---$45,000 a year per prisoner.
I'm bad at math and even I know somebody fucked up on the accounting....or somebody's hiding something.
In any case, these people are put in prison for years at a time. The idea is that they will sit there and learn a lesson. Like when your mom used to ground you or take your TV away. Except these people are grounded with other people who got grounded for the same thing....for years.
Years!
So you're in this little confined area with the same people day in and day out and eventually you're going to run out of things to talk about and things to do. Even as a kid, boredom led me down the path of destruction. My friends and I figured out how to make explosives from once harmless fountains and sparklers and thus commenced blowing shit up. My friend's mother's rose garden, another friend's parents back yard, the neighbors mailbox were all victims of our high explosive shenanigans.
We were 12 and we had plenty of things to do: motorcycles, bicycles, skateboards, video games. My family wasn't ever rich, but let's just say I wasn't deprived of fun as a kid.
Once we'd crashed the motorcycles, ridden our bicycles, skated our boards and conquered Mario Brothers, we got bored again...and that led us to figuring out how to turn good wholesome family fun into blow your fucking hands off dangerous weapons.
We also shot each other with BB guns, but I think that falls under the same line of thinking.
What I'm getting at here is that we were little kids with all sorts of outlets for entertainment. Just imagine that same thought process in a roomful of like minded adults that have years of nothing but time on their hands.
Imagine the consequences.
As George Jung said: "I went in with a Bachelor's of Marijuana and came out with a PhD in cocaine."
And why wouldn't you?
Let's face it, nobody wants to hire a felon. Some say ex-felon, but no, you're a felon forever and for always. It's not like bad credit where it drops off your record after 7 years. The only job you're ever going to get is as a line cook in a kitchen somewhere making barely over minimum wage.
I bet you're going to back to crime to pay the bills. I know I would.
So what's the solution?
It's actually pretty easy if you ask me.
First, stop imprisoning people for victimless crimes like selling dope. I know I know. I can already hear the cries of the conservatives, the liberals, the Bible thumpers and the soccer moms.
"But selling drugs is a crime and not a victimless crime! Drugs make drug addicts..." blah blah blah.
First of all, drugs are a product, a commodity like anything else. Whether the government deems them legal or not is irrelevant because people are going to buy them regardless of what the law says.
As an FYI: marijuana is technically legal in the U.S....you just have to acquire a tax stamp....which is next to impossible.
Secondly, drugs don't create drug addicts...except for maybe meth...but who knows what the fuck is in that shit. In any case, you have the power to make the decision to do said drugs or not do said drugs.
Your choice.
The drugs aren't going to find there way into your cupboard and oh shit I thought I thought I put creamer in my coffee, but turns out it was blow.
And even if it did happen, I would hope you know the difference in taste between cocaine and creamer. Even if you don't know what blow tastes like, I would hope you could at least distinguish for yourself that the coke ain't creamer.
That bullshit After School Special shit where little Tommy instantly becomes uncool because he wouldn't smoke a joint at the party?
Not true. Let me tell you how it really happens:
"Here man, smoke this." Bobby tries to hand Tommy the joint.
"What is it?" Tommy asks with innocent, wide eyed curiosity.
"It's weed man. Got it from my brother."
"Uh, no way Bobby. Drugs are bad!"
"Alright. Fuck you. More for me."
More. For. Me.
That is how that conversation goes. Always. Every time, and believe me, I've had that conversation more than a few times with people...and you can replace weed with any other drug or even booze.
So, stop putting these people behind bars. Cigarettes and alcohol both kill millions of people a year. But the guy at the corner store that sold you the 6 pack and the box of Winstons doesn't go to jail. If you become an alcoholic or die from lung cancer, nobody shuts down all the corner stores in the nation.
But maybe they should.
As for the real offenders, the violent offenders, the sexual predators, the child molesters.
Easy.
Shoot 'em.
I know I know. "But that's inhumaaaaaaaaaane!!!!"
You know what?
Fuck you.
If you think what some of these sickos did is humane then you're as fucked up as they are. And if you think the right thing to do is spend money on keeping these fuckers alive, maybe we ought to put you in a cell with them for a day or two and see if that won't change your mind.
Or better yet, let them molest your child or kill your spouse and see if that don't change your way of thinking a wee bit.
I've never been to prison, but I've been to jail. Going to jail isn't a big deal. Who you meet in jail...well...that might lead to another story....or the end of your life's story.
To the religious nuts that say "it's not for us to judge, it's for god to judge," let me make this perfectly clear: I don't believe in god. Not Jesus, not Mohammed, not Sheba and not the almighty dollar.
But if I did, I would have this to say: God created us in His image. Therefore, if He has the power to judge, so do I and my gavel is a Mossberg motherfucker.
Or what about this as a cost effective solution: we have all this deserted desert land....maybe that's why it's called the desert. Just a thought.
Let's rope some of it off, bury some land mines and drop the criminals in the middle of it like they do to soldiers in war theaters. Put 'em in a plane, toss them out of the plane and here you go.
No food.
No water.
If you make it out alive, you get to re-enter society. You're still a felon, but I bet you wouldn't want to go back to prison.
And that's what prison should be: a deterrent, not a housing facility. You shouldn't want to go to prison. You should fear it.
But you don't.....
Meet the Lunatic
- The Raving Lunatic
- Nobody's ever called me a nice guy. Ever.Not even my own girlfriend, who is, in a big part, responsible for the creation of this atrocity you see before you. She says I'm too judgemental and that I'm always a prick. She says I'm a lunatic because I get road rage when people cut me off and I cuss people out who park in the hadicapped spot when they are clearly not physically handicapped.

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