Christopher Columbus Was a Dope Dealer

Like most Americans, I spent my formative years in the public school system. The product of a military family, I attended schools in a few different states and I can attest that there are historical descrepaancies abound. For example, while most of the country celebrates Columbus Day, parts of the Norwegian-heavy midwest celebrate Leif Erikson Day stating that the Italian born Spanish sponsored Columbus was not the first to reach the shores of the modern day United States.
In other states where there is a large Mormon population, the history books read that the Mormon missionaries actually paved the way to the West rather than Lewis and Clark.

What ever happened to the seperation of church and state? And why can't our public schools decide on the history of this supposedly once great land?

In any case neither explorers discovered this mass of land. There were already people here....and they probably stole it from the people that were here before them.

Let me be perfectly honest: if I knew I could kick your ass and steal your house on the beach, I would.
If I had the financial backing to start my own country and make my own rules, I would.

I'm not in the least bit convinced that the whole "discovery" of America was due to an error when scouting a new shipping route for spices. I'm pretty convinced that Columbus was looking for new land to cultivate poppies....opium.

Why?
Two reasons:
1) You can't convince me that ships known to be far from watertight and notroiously infested with rats and disease were to be entrusted with perishable goods for the Queen.

I call bullshit.

2) Evidence of opium use and cultivation  in Europe dates back to 4000 BC. It is a well known fact that the British were the largest market for Asian opium. In fact, the East India Company (the very same that is credited as having been responsible for  the Boston Tea Party) was the largest shipper of Asian and Indian grown opium to Great Britain during the 17th and 18th centuries. One can argue that this was hundreds of years after Columbus. But the fact still remains that the British Empire was largely funded by the drug trade and suspicion and common sense tell me that the empire was not new to this economic model.
Besides, when was the last time you heard of anyone killing for cinnamon? But people get killed over drugs all over the world every day. Always have and always will.
I don't think it was a coincedence that Columbus landed in the Bahamas. Seems like a good climate to grow opium...I mean, spices....

Washington D.C. was supposedly named for Columbus. Why then, isn't it called the District of Columbus? Why the District of Columbia....a country famous for drugs?


I think Erikson, on the other hand, was trying to circumnavigate via the Arctic Circle. Rumor has it that once the crew spotted land, Erikson made them continue on until they nearly ran out of food.
If you were merely trying to discover new lands why the fuck would you keep sailing through the goddamn arctic waters once you had spotted land?! Let's not

Maybe someone had ulterior motives.

Let's not forget that the founders of this country were all wealthy men who were supposedly fleeing religious persecution.

Wealthy.

As Chris Rock said: "I'm not talking about rich, I'm talking about wealth. Shaq is rich. The white man that signs his check is wealthy."

Face it, nobody ever became wealthy completely honestly. I think Warren Buffet just hides it better than the others.

But then so did Edmund McIhenney...until the book came out.