Kids today (and many adults) cannot drive manual shift cars. Nothing comes with manual shift anymore, so there's no need to learn. Cars have airbags, back up cameras, OnStar (which I'm convinced is a government tracking program) and GPS. There's no reason to be a smart or safe driver or to learn menial things like how to read a map.
We all know that our cars are killing us. But unfortunately, our cars aren't killing us properly. The advent of all this safety gear has rendered good old common sense completely useless. It allows us to get into bad, and dangerous habits because there are no longer consequences like steering columns piercing your chest or dashboards breaking your legs. As new drivers come of age, they learn to drive these technologically advanced autos that do everything for them.
Why look backward when backing up? I have a camera that does that.
Why learn to drive in the snow? I have traction control for that.
It's sad that in the quest to make the roads safer, we've inadvertently made our society just that much dumber. Now kids are shocked when they are sending a text from behind the wheel and wrap their mom's SUV around a telephone pole.
They give you this look that says "OMG WTF?" How the fuck did that happen???
You should not be able to walk away from a 70 MPH impact without some sort of injury. Period.
I don't mean that you should be decapitated. I'm just saying that maybe a bruise or a pulled muscle or something. Some sort of pain to remind you that you are in pain because you are a dumb fuck.
Many parents don't let their kids ride bikes or go snowboarding or do anything else outside for fear that they might get hurt. Yeah, they might. But you know what? That's life kid! Go be a fucking kid and do kid stuff. If you get hurt doing kid stuff, you'll probably remember that and you won't do it again. Unless you're a skater or BMXer or some other "extreme" sports participant. Then you'll figure out where the trick went wrong and you'll try it 1000 times until you get it right.
But you're not the kind of person I'm talking about here so fuck off and go skate.
In this era of sheltering everyone from every thing, we've created a bunch of idiots, pussies and wannabes.
As an avid cyclist, I keep abreast of the cycling accidents and deaths in my area as sort of a grim hobby. It never ceases to amaze me when I go onto craigslist and see some hipster-built brakeless fixie for sale for $100.
Me: "Hey dude, I'm callin' about the fixie for sale. Why you sellin' it?"
SkinnyJeansHipster420: "I got it to ride around town, but I almost got hit by a truck."
Me: "You could just put brakes on it."
SkinnyJeansHipster420: "I thought it would take away from the Zen of riding fixed."
Me:" You're an idiot. I'll give you $50 and you won't have to relive your traumatic near death experience every time you go to the kitchen for some soy milk or a PBR."
I recently read about a local rider who was hit by a commuter train because he blew through the barricade with headphones on and didn't hear the train coming. Must have been fucking blind as well because, well....HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT SEE A FUCKING TRAIN??!
A lot of local people tried to blame the city or the train operator.
No.
You idiots.
Blame the moron that ran the red light that didn't see or hear the train.
Blame him you goddamn blame-shifting feel good hippies.
Or the people that are learning to snowboard while wearing the whole NFL protective gear package. I'm all for safety, but there is some level of inherent risk in sports. Well....maybe not golf......
I understand that nobody wants to break an arm at Vail, but you know what? It happens. It's a fact of life.
If you don't want to risk breaking your arm, don't go snowboarding. Take up knitting or something. Then maybe you'll stab yourself.
There is a difference between safety and removing all consequence.
The worst part about all this "safety net" bullshit is that people learn to do everything poorly. They drive poorly, they ride poorly, they even walk poorly. I had a girl walk right out in front of me during traffic hour because she was sending the all important OMG LOL text.
I contemplated hitting her, but I didn't want to dent my car.
Consider "cyber bullying." What the fuck is that?
What happened to Everett Vigil punching the smaller kids and taking their lunch money?
Now some kid creates a website that talks shit about another kid. I bet if Kid #2 broke Kid #1's fucking hands so that he couldn't get on the computer, the "cyber bullying" would stop.
Try creating a website with 10 broken fingers. Unless you're using Dragon, you can't.
And if you are using Dragon, the fucking site won't make any sense anyway.
Just like in the old days (I cannot believe I just typed that) when a bully would confront you, you kick the shit out of him. Or he kicks the shit out of you. Either way, a pecking order is established.
I mean, you can't threaten someone with a cyber fight.
"I'll see you on the virtual playground! My avatar's gonna kill your avatar."
I dunno.
Maybe you can.
All I know is that if my kid ever whined to me about being cyber bullied, I'd kick the shit out of him myself.
The real shit, not the virual kind.
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