People like this guy piss me off. I have friends that are actually handicapped due to illness, injury and/or birth defect. They didn't ask to have missing limbs or to walk with canes or crutches. Yet, they aren't suing anyone because they can't reach the fucking Cheerios at Safeway.
No.
They usually do this: "Hey dude, can you do me a favor and grab the fucking Cheerios? Thanks!"
Yet these fat fuckers waddle through life blaming everyone and asking for a hand out because they eat at goddamn White Castle every day. They get handicapped placards for their Fatman mobiles. They use the old people power scooter at the grocery store....which isn't even rated for a half a ton. They blame the food companies for making them fat. They blame their employers for discriminating against them.
The list just goes on and on...
I'll admit it. I'm definitely a few pounds heavier than I should be. But you know whose fault that is?
MINE!
Obama Bin Laden didn't come over to my apartment last night and declare a jihad against my waistline and force me to eat those new Oreos that are regular Oreo on one side and golden Oreo on the other.
Nope.
I sat down and turned on the TV and poured myself a glass of milk and ate the fucking cookies.
Me. I did it.
I also ate the pulled pork sandwich at the lunch meeting. I could have had a salad, but I didn't.
I was also a pack a day smoker for more than a decade. So, I guess if I get cancer I can sue Camel.
Everyone else does. They claim they didn't know Camels cause cancer and Big Macs give you heart attacks.
BULLSHIT!!!
People just don't want to take responsibility for the fact that they are fat, nicotine and Vicodin addicted assholes. They just don't.
I once worked for a guy that weighed 400 lbs. No shit.
When I would ride my bike into work he'd always comment that "you'd never see my fat ass on a pedal bike. That's too much work."
And that sir, is precisely why you tip the scales at nearly a quarter ton.
My theory is that it's laziness. It's hard to work all day then go home and prepare a healthy meal. It's easier to get Drive Thru gourmet.
It's hard to go to the gym or go jogging or ride a bike. It's easier to point a Jimmy Dean sausage finger at the world and blame everyone else for your problems.
It's hard to look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you're a big, fat, lazy fuck of a person. It's easier to get a lawyer and sue Burger King for making delicious and addictive treats.
There's nothing wrong with being fat. If you're OK with it, I'm OK with it. But don't go around expecting people to help you because you "handicapped" yourself. That's akin to cutting your own leg off with a chainsaw on purpose then expecting sympathy.
NO motherfucker. YOU did it! YOU cut your leg off. Now hop like a pogo stick, shit head!
Some claim "food addiction." Now I don't know if this is a real condition or not. But let's say it is. Then get help, just like a drug addict or alcoholic. Alcoholics know they can't drink safely, so they stay the fuck out of the bar!
Stay the fuck out of the buffet, and you'll probably be OK.
And stop trying to bullshit people by telling them you like being 100 lbs overweight. Give you curves. Oh bullshit! Nobody likes shopping at the Big and Tall because they are big but not tall.
They oughta start a fucking store called the Short N Fat. I know there have been times when I could have shopped there. That was, until I put down the bacon burger.
Maybe I can get one of those handicapped things for my car because I'm mentally unstable.
HEY! IT'S A HANDICAP!
I might explode on an innocent person on my way through the parking lot. Better get me closer to the door to limit exposure.
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